Inspiration

I haven't been growing much as a photographer lately. My favorite professor pointed out today that I've been playing it safe and not risking much in my last shoot. I agree. With my level of skill right now, I could probably make a modest living off doing weddings and standard portraits. For a while there that was okay with me. Now I have to create a portfolio for this professor, and I don't want him to see only images some portrait photographer at the mall could do. There are some other photo students in our program who are really starting to inspire me with their quality of work and dedication. I want to hand in a portfolio at the end of the year that will blow my professor away and prove to myself that I could get work anywhere, not just a bridal boutique.

My current inspiration is this photo of Drew Barrymore taken by Annie Leibovitz for Vogue.

Big Bend

I'm back from the camping adventure, alive and covered in strange tan lines. I'm still mysteriously busy all the time, so it took me a while to get the photos properly edited and saved.

So camping wasn't as tough as I thought it would be. I'd forgotten that not showering for over a week was something I always yearned to do as a child. Not that I'm about to make a habit of it, mind. My hair is already begging for a nice new coat of auburn dye. But really, it wasn't that bad. I didn't grow as much body hair as I was expecting, and the combination of manly old spice deodorant and not being able to properly breath out of my nose helped with the smell.

Andrew and I stayed out in the desert in a campsite called 'Government Springs' for about 4 days with a group of people from our school and one of the religious studies professors. Everyone was very nice, and despite my inevitable social awkwardness I didn't feel left out. We hiked different places in the park each day, spent an afternoon at the hot springs, then had an unforgettable night in a bar called 'La Kiva' in the tiny town of Tereligua. Lets just say some people got drunk, sang karaoke, and danced with women of questionable sexual orientation in overalls. I wish I had pictures of it.

After the group left Andrew and I were left to our own devices. We backpacked up Toll Mountain (our second trip up there), and camped on top for the night. I've never felt so isolated from civilization as I did that night when we stood looking down at the ring of lights that was the Basin lodge and campground. I think the nearest people to us were two girls named Laura and Holly, who we had met on our way up the mountain and were camped about a mile away.

The next day we decided to travel to a place in the desert called 'Mule Ears'. We had been there before with our larger group and knew there was a spring where we could get water. Near the spring was an old ruin of what was probably an old corral with a small back room attached. Andrew and I decided we'd camp in there. That was definitely my favorite experience. As I sat cooking dinner I'd look out into the darkness and see a little mouse scampering around. I own a rat named Rex, so it was almost like having him there with me. Andrew got it into his head that he wanted to go skinny dipping in the spring, and I, being the paranoid one, felt certain a cougar would attack us for using its water hole. Luckily no such thing happened, though we did hear something drinking from the spring a few yards away behind a large rock.

Our last camping spot was in the desert again, though far far away from our last spot. It was starting to get very hot, and I woke up in the bed of the truck sweating in my many layers. I got a little shock when I looked over the side and saw a park ranger staring at us. I'm guessing he saw the car, no tent, and was wondering where we were. Good to know they pay attention to that sort of thing, though.

We left later that day, and despite being all camped out I knew I'd remember that place fondly. It felt like something akin to an African safari, and several times during our stay I felt like a member of the Planet Earth crew as I stalked wild javelina through the brush, or sped around with Andrew in his truck in order to catch another glimpse of mountain goats. The whole trip was an eye opener for me, both about the people I was with and the strength I gained both physically and mentally.

Spring Break

Yessss it's over! I've just gotten out of my last class, turned in my last, half-assed project, and now I can finally...relax? Okay, so going backpacking in Big Bend National Park is rather more challenging than sitting on a beach in Mexico, but it's still going to be an amazing experience.

I've never done real camping before. The closest I've come is 2nd grade girl scouts, and it was one night in a cabin. A strong, sturdy, warm cabin with bunk beds. And raccoons. What I'm about to do makes that look like unspeakable luxury. But despite my bitching about being cold, I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm going there with a group of amazing people, including one of our infamous college professors and some cool guys from Moreau House. Best of all, I'll be spending the entire trip with Andrew. As long as one of us doesn't kill the other by the end of this week, I think we'll have a blast. Am looking forward to running away from large animals and taking lots of pictures.

Garden Parties, lenses, and Bruges

I feel like I have to warm up before starting this. Teach myself how to write like a normal, grammatically incorrect person. Now, I'm not boasting about my writing skills, which are average. I just finished a statement of purpose, which is like writing your college entry essay all over again. This one's for Arcadia University, who will be...well...doing something important while I'm abroad in Scotland. I'm still scratching my head over why I need to go through a third party for this.

I'll figure it out later. Onward!

Let me try to remember my weekend in chronological order now. Friday...skipped class. Only time I've done that this semester, though. I figure there's no point in going to Video Production if you haven't got any videos to edit. That's something I'll be working on tomorrow. I did go try to talk my way out of a parking ticket. No luck, the university police have had enough trying to sort the genuinely confused out from the pathological liars. Now I've got to file an appeal. What a hassle.

After returning home from my unsuccessful bid for clemency, I spent some time with Andrew, my well-spoken and better dressed other half. He's usually got something unusual planned for the day, like strolling through plant nurseries, where we sometimes get carried away and blow too much of our savings on enormous Jessamine flowers or Mexican heather. Luckily I like anything that reminds me of Mexicans. That's a fetish I'll have to explain later.

Friday night we went to the Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar to see 'In Bruges'. If you don't have the luck of having access to the Alamo Drafthouse, I give you my condolences. It's what makes living in Austin a great experience. If you ever want to get a sample of the humor we have around here, stop by the Alamo on Weird Wednesdays or any days they do Master Pancake theatre. I really can't do it justice with a brief explanation; you should just go to their website and see for yourself. (http://www.originalalamo.com/)

In Bruges was alright. I didn't get bored, so that's got to mean something. There are certain movies I just don't have the attention span for. I've actually fallen asleep during Fight Club, which shocks people. Same with The Boondock Saints. What's really disturbing is that I was fully conscious throughout the entire showing of Aquamarine.

But getting back to my weekend, Saturday was amazing. My car passed inspection! Ha, well that's one small reason why that day was the best. Andrew and I had dinner with our friends Scott and Carina. They brought wine and we moved a table out onto the patio so we could all sit by the garden. For once I was able to have a real grown up party. I've honestly always dreamed about doing something like that but most people our age just want to get shitfaced and grind to loud music. Don't get me wrong, I'll occasionally be in the mood for that too, but more times than not I'd rather sip wine and watch Planet Earth with some really cool, down-to-earth people. We'll probably do this again, and I'm excited to invite more friends to join us.

Today was a mix of good and bad. I bought a new lens for my Canon Digital Rebel XT camera. It's a Tamron AF18-200, and I'm so happy I finally have something to take decent landscapes with. Andrew and I'll be going to Big Bend National Park for spring break, and I was worried my standard lens wouldn't capture what I wanted. This new one is both a wide angle and a telephoto, so I can get dramatic landscapes and close ups of the wildlife all with one lens. So far the only thing that's bothering me about it is how slow it is to focus. I considered getting a Canon wideangle, but the price and versatility of the Tamron was too good to pass.

So the good part was the new lens and watching as Andrew transformed the front 'garden' of my apartment (consisting of overrun bushes, dirt, and grass typically littered with windblown magazine ads) into an organized, eye-catching space to grow more flowers. However, I was feeling extremely nervous, and it only increased as the day wore on. I have a science test Thursday, and it scares the hell out of me. Our teacher lacks the foresight to realize that just because what he's saying makes sense to him, it doesn't necessarily make sense to the rest of us. Sometimes I wonder if even he understands what he's talking about.

So I have this massive review I've been sporadically working on, and I'm feeling guilty because I've also been putting off work from my Multimedia and Video classes. Not only that, but I still had to write that damned statement of purpose, get out of paying that ticket, and I wasn't feeling very attractive to boot. I'd braided my hair after getting out of the shower, and it had gone horribly wrong. I did my best not to walk by any mirrors during that time. Andrew doesn't seem to mind terribly when I'm having gross days, but I still feel bad about not looking pretty for him. For me, it's like a matter of respect to make an effort to look presentable for your loved one. Some days it's okay to relax and not put on makeup or work too hard on your hair. But there's a line of frumpiness that I don't feel comfortable passing. Even if I were alone it would bother me.

Anyway, I was feeling very jittery and sad, and didn't really know what to do about it. I had to get to work, and felt bad about not spending enough time with Andrew while he was making my home look beautiful. I think he sensed that I wasn't in the best of moods, and came to sit with me in my room. At that point I felt near to a nervous breakdown, and couldn't even make decent conversation. He decided to leave, and after kissing him goodbye I turned out all the lights and forced myself to calm down. I wrote my statement of purpose, and now I'm about to study for that exam. Already I'm feeling better now that I've got at least one thing out of the way. I still wish I hadn't been so weird with Andrew, though I'm sure he understands.

Study time. See you later.